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:icondorianharper: More from DorianHarper




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June 17, 2012
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:trophy: This deviation was featured on 09th of December, 2013 in the Daily Literature Deviations article

Comment Before You Favourite by BoffinbraiNCritique please by Metadream
6th draft

IMPORTANT:


This is NOT part of Fiction's novel. If you would like to read the story itself, please start at Chapter 1. This simply was put up for those who were pestering me about the story before I put it online. It is in NO WAY connected to the actual novel.


:star: Looking for more of Fiction?

:pointr: Click here for Chapter 1
:pointr: Click here for Chapter 2



Fiction Dorian J. Harper
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:iconinkyrose:
InkyRose Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know this isn't part of the novel, but I thought I'd read it any way as I was curious about 'Fiction' in general :)
I love the gothic, poetic tones of this, it reminds me a lot of Keats in the style of the language and of Poe in its content. I would suggest maybe a few less adjectives and metaphors here and there to help with the flow of the text, but apart from that- great! I look forward to reading the first chapter! :)
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:iconmirrasae:
Mirrasae Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013   Writer
Beautiful, graceful imagery. It sucks me into a place where I feel I'm bobbing against the surface of something magical and mysterious and haunting. The first line is especially good. I can feel the character behind the words. He speaks to me. The only issue you might face here is that everything is sort of vague, and some readers are frustrated with that sense of 'ghosting'. I don't know if that makes sense, and it may not be an issue at all, but it's something to consider.
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks :XD:

This actually isn't part of the story (the story beings at Chapter 1) but something small I put up prior to the novel since people were pestering me about it.

Thanks anyway though!
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:iconmirrasae:
Mirrasae Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013   Writer
Ah, that's good to know. It's beautiful writing either way.
Now I will move on to read chapter one. :aww:
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:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on your DLD Dorian.
A good 'grabber' here. :)
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you :love:
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here. Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much! :heart: It was a wonderful surprise to wake up to.
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:iconerinm31:
ErinM31 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013
Wow, a lovely and intriguing opening, wonderful unique imagery, and I love the mood it creates! I shall keep reading... :reading:
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you! :love:
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