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:icondorianharper: More from DorianHarper


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June 17, 2012
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:trophy: This deviation was featured on 09th of December, 2013 in the Daily Literature Deviations article

Comment Before You Favourite by BoffinbraiNCritique please by Metadream
6th draft

IMPORTANT:


This is NOT part of Fiction's novel. If you would like to read the story itself, please start at Chapter 1. This simply was put up for those who were pestering me about the story before I put it online. It is in NO WAY connected to the actual novel.


:star: Looking for more of Fiction?

:pointr: Click here for Chapter 1
:pointr: Click here for Chapter 2



Fiction © Dorian J. Harper
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:iconalexthetyger:
alexthetyger Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Well done *claps slowly*

This is so amazing I can't even...
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2014  Professional Writer
Thank you :aww:
Reply
:iconalexthetyger:
alexthetyger Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I wish I could write like that... but I can't.
I'm going to keep reading. You should get this published.
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Professional Writer
I'm in the process of attempting to get it published! Planning to start sending some queries out in the coming months :)
Reply
:iconalexthetyger:
alexthetyger Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I tried querying for my last project (it took me 6 years and I'm still not done) and it's pretty tough. I didn't get an agent cause I realized what I had could still use a lot of work.
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Professional Writer
I used to work for a literary agency and I can say it definitely is tough-- but it helps to narrow down what agents are best for your story ahead of time and be really familiar with what they represent and what their personal tastes are (on top of making sure everything is edited, of course!)

I've got a list of some that I think would be good matches for the story, I just need to get all the query letters finalized and finish some editing on the manuscript before I start sending it anywhere, heh.
Reply
:iconalexthetyger:
alexthetyger Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Finishing editing first is a good idea... Considering what happened to my manuscript
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2014  Professional Writer
I've been through about 17 drafts now, so I'm mainly just doing my last re-reads and fixing some minor things that could use cleaning up. Aside from that it's ready, though! 
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconinkyrose:
InkyRose Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know this isn't part of the novel, but I thought I'd read it any way as I was curious about 'Fiction' in general :)
I love the gothic, poetic tones of this, it reminds me a lot of Keats in the style of the language and of Poe in its content. I would suggest maybe a few less adjectives and metaphors here and there to help with the flow of the text, but apart from that- great! I look forward to reading the first chapter! :)
Reply
:iconmirrasae:
Mirrasae Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013   Writer
Beautiful, graceful imagery. It sucks me into a place where I feel I'm bobbing against the surface of something magical and mysterious and haunting. The first line is especially good. I can feel the character behind the words. He speaks to me. The only issue you might face here is that everything is sort of vague, and some readers are frustrated with that sense of 'ghosting'. I don't know if that makes sense, and it may not be an issue at all, but it's something to consider.
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks :XD:

This actually isn't part of the story (the story beings at Chapter 1) but something small I put up prior to the novel since people were pestering me about it.

Thanks anyway though!
Reply
:iconmirrasae:
Mirrasae Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2013   Writer
Ah, that's good to know. It's beautiful writing either way.
Now I will move on to read chapter one. :aww:
Reply
:iconrlkirkland:
rlkirkland Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congratulations on your DLD Dorian.
A good 'grabber' here. :)
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you :love:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here. Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much! :heart: It was a wonderful surprise to wake up to.
Reply
:iconerinm31:
ErinM31 Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013
Wow, a lovely and intriguing opening, wonderful unique imagery, and I love the mood it creates! I shall keep reading... :reading:
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you! :love:
Reply
:iconfirribella:
Firribella Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2013
Love it!
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:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Oct 5, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much :love:
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:iconarieskin:
Arieskin Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:la:

I must say you really paint with words. I love your metaphores especially, like taken from one of the most famous authors out there. I like the image you want to show us...it's grim but it's also beautiful and it comes up together very smooth and delicate.

I really enjoyed reading this :)
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Professional Writer
:blushes:

Thank you! I'm really glad that you enjoyed reading!

I've always been iffy about this prologue and wasn't sure if I was going to actually include it with the novel. Part of me likes it and part of me thinks it could do without. It's so hard deciding what to keep and what to not! I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed, though! :heart:
Reply
:iconarieskin:
Arieskin Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I also did prologues for my novels but they are sooo long! I should shorten them because they are longer that I was intended!
Well, I think you should stay with this prologue and include it on your novel :)
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha, that's always the worst part of editing! Having to figure out what to keep and what to cut. That's part of what I'm working on now. I'm cutting and rearranging scenes to see which work best where and what is really not needed at all. Lots of work, but I hope it pays off!

And thank you :aww: I very well may!
Reply
:iconslycooperfan:
slycooperfan Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Student Writer
I like this. It starts out like a child's dream but ends in a cruel twist. The atmosphere is colorful because you have painted it for us. I love it when authors do that...needless to say, this is something I can see getting published. Good job :D
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks so very much :love:
Reply
:iconslycooperfan:
slycooperfan Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Student Writer
You are very welcome :)
Reply
:icondrybonesreborn:
DryBonesReborn Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:clap: Well done.
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Thanks :XD:

This part's actually being taken out of the story, but I kept it up on here for the heck of it =P
Reply
:icondrybonesreborn:
DryBonesReborn Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aww, shucks.

Is this being published? Or already? Or are you in transition to get it published?


:3
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Professional Writer
In the transition :XD: My editor from my other book that was published is just working on this one right now in her free time to help me get it all ready to send out. It's going to be a while since I need to start taking this down eventually, too, so I wouldn't say it's going to be send out for at least another year... but I'm working on it! (Prologues are just not really liked by agents/publishers, and this one doesn't work with the story very much, so it won't be included in the version I query).
Reply
:icondrybonesreborn:
DryBonesReborn Featured By Owner Aug 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:3 Cool.

I'll have to get another account or something. I have too many journals that are more blogs that aren't proff' as like as I want. Good work so far. :)
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:iconfree-to-be-gee:
free-to-be-Gee Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

I've come in search of inspiration and answers. How do I possibly interpret this writer's vision, a work of "fiction"? I usually look forward to an artistic challenge and the fever of creative process. This time I'm a little worried. My efforts will be measured by a different standard. This time it will be a matter of life and death.

 

This prologue really fired up my imagination. I hope to find and capture an image that will complement your words. Would something monochromatic be acceptable? I see something in graphite or in duo-tones of sepia and sanguine conté

Thanks for writing such a stimulating beginning, Dorian. :dalove:

Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 9, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so much! :love: I'm so glad that it sparked your imagination!

And whatever you think will work best! I always say that the artist should express their own creativity through what they believe works. I'm absolutely honoured! :heart:
Reply
:iconmirz-alt:
mirz-alt Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013   General Artist
Just read this. I see you're not taking any critique, so I won't add any. But, fwiw, I felt it was interesting enough to keep me reading. :D
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Jul 22, 2013  Professional Writer
Haha thank you :D

Yes, that reminds me that I need to update this with the revised version I wrote based on older critiques :shifty: I'm so far behind with everything.
Reply
:iconmirz-alt:
mirz-alt Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013   General Artist
Don't I know how it is being behind. :faint:  But, when it's up, I'll be eager to read it. :D
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Professional Writer
:aww:

I'm debating on whether or not to actually include one (mainly since agents and publishers typically have you cut prologues anyway), but I'll see what happens! I like the idea of having one before the actual first chapter (especially one in Daniel's thoughts), but I'll see!
Reply
:iconmirz-alt:
mirz-alt Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013   General Artist
Well, I like it. Sets the mood for the novel. Just a bit of a glimpse, foreshadowing (or pre-shadowing, LOL). I actually thought it could work well as part of the first chapter. But, I tend to like that kind of thing, that ethereal bit that doesn't quite make sense but slowly does as you get into the book.
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Professional Writer
I was thinking of adding it to the first chapter (since it's what Daniel was somewhat thinking/writing before awakening out of his opium "dream"), but was worried it wouldn't be too interesting ^^; I'll see! I have a lot of time to think about it :D
Reply
:iconmirz-alt:
mirz-alt Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013   General Artist
It's very teaser in nature, which I tend to like a lot in the beginning of a story. Of course, not everyone feels the same way.  In the end, though, I'm sure you'll do what is best for the story.
Reply
:iconblackrose-bud:
BlackRose-Bud Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist
This is beautifully poetic <3 It sounds so tragic and dark but at the same time deep and beautiful. I really like your writing. It sounds like it should be in a book =]
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :love:

I'm actually reworking this opening, but I'll have the revised and second version in my journal hopefully in the next few months for readers to decide which version they like better. I'm glad you liked this one, though, and that it drew you into the story!
Reply
:iconblackrose-bud:
BlackRose-Bud Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist
I'd be happy to read the new version and see which I like better for you =] I'm reading more soon of the next chapter too. It's so good.
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you so very much! I'd really appreciate it :tighthug:
Reply
:iconblackrose-bud:
BlackRose-Bud Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist
I'll work on it soon! =]
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Thank you :aww:
Reply
:iconblackrose-bud:
BlackRose-Bud Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Hobbyist
I posted him!
Reply
:icondorianharper:
DorianHarper Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Professional Writer
Ah! Thank you! I'll check in a moment :D
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconkaiserkat:
KaiserKat Featured By Owner May 4, 2013  Student Filmographer
Oh come on. You're 2 comments away from 300. I'm leaving this here because you know why. And because you owe everyone Chapter 3 :P
Reply
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